So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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