Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
