You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, beer. Big fan.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
