Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
