gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
