yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize