i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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