Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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