On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize