you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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