She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
