random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
