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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize