Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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