In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
