i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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