You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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