that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize