Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
