oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's rum buckets o'clock
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
