First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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