I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
