What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
