the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
