Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
