So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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