thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
