The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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