they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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