physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
