i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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