...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize