why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
