i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
