I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i drank out of a bidet.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
