did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
