my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
