next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
