Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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