Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
