If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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