I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
