Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
