I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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