I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have post one night stand depression
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