I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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