this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
