my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
