Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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