There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
