Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
