I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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