No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
