I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
