matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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