And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
