i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
