My pussy is not your playground.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
