O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
