i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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