I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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