when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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