and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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