So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
