he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize