shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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