is this the sara with the beer cane?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize