Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
