It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize