There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
